A641.7.3.RB - Appreciating Your "Real Self"_SharpMelissa

Taking Stock

Activities that allow me to grow in my faith, spend time with family and friends, and activities that allow me to create, are the most valuable activities to me. As far as work is concerned, I feel worth and purpose when I help others; I find worth in building relationships with students and colleagues, and I value the sense of accomplishment I feel when I learn something new, or overcome obstacles. In life, I currently enjoy doing things that make me feel alive; I feel alive when I am using my gifts, sharing my gifts, giving to others, nurturing important relationships, and creating in some artistic way.

When I am at work, I enjoy my flexible schedule. Because of my flexible work schedule, I feel like I get more accomplished and I feel liberated. I love working with people that I consider family, not just work associates. I love helping students; I love watching students grow, and I love serving them in a way that leaves them pleased and appreciative. Although work is tough at times, I am thankful for the support I receive from my colleagues.

Since making important changes in my life, there are not a lot of things I am doing that I don’t like. However, I always have room to grow, always. For example, I don’t like how I diminish my accomplishments; up to this point, I would accomplish something really big and then move on to the next thing. Instead of sitting in the aftermath of a great accomplishment, I immediately pursue the next big thing. When people are blown away by what I have accomplished, I act like, “anyone could have done it”. Sometimes I think I fear pride so much so, that I run away from the reality of great things I have done…or maybe it’s insecurity… I don’t like that part of me. Now that I am aware, I am trying to change my attitude and behavior.

While I am glad that I am in a career that I honestly enjoy, there are some things I do not like right now. I don’t like that our Worldwide campuses are struggling with enrollments. There was a time when campuses were meeting and exceeding enrollment goals; however, student enrollments have declined over the years. As a result, some of our campus locations are closing, and leaders and followers are feeling the stress of enrollment decline. Besides our numbers struggle, most things are going well; however, making enrollment numbers keeps us “alive” and if we do not have numbers, we will not have work.

Mindfulness

I am currently at a work conference; things are going really well and I met friends that I have only interacted with, virtually. Being at this conference and meeting my work family was incredible. As I was listening to some of the conference presentations, I began to think about my passions. The work we do in higher education is value and I will always support higher education. However, during one of the presenter’s presentations, I could only think about child advocacy and the fulfillment I would have in pursuing my deepest passion; I also thought about the great difference I’d make in children and families’ lives.

As the conference continued, I felt a little bit of tension in my body as I decided to vocalize my disagreement with one of our leader’s statements. Though I thought it was important to defend my words, I do not like how my mind and heart races during that process. I recognized how I was feeling and began to practice techniques that calm me when I feel stress taking over. As the day continued, I felt at ease and restful. I also experienced joy as I was able to have dinner with friends from the conference. As the night continued, I had an overall peaceful evening.

Seeking Balance

• Body- I try to make healthy food choices, I maintain physical activity, and I try to rest when my body needs it
• Spirit- I pray for myself and others, I sing songs that inspire me and encourage me in my Faith, I attend weekly worship services, I read the book of my Faith- the Bible,
• Emotion- I stay in relationships with supportive friends and family, I do not spend time with those who are not good for me, I try to stay honest, I communicate my hurts to others, I focus on loving and accepting myself since this is sometimes a challenge for me, I express negative emotions instead of keeping them hidden (I used to do that to avoid pain and/or hurting others)
• Mind- I write a lot, practice mindfulness, I seek an intentional thought life, I rest my mind

Mind Change

I want to live my fullest life. I don’t want to be weighed down by the limitations that others place on me; I also don’t want to put limits on myself. I want to accept myself every single day, no matter the mistakes I make. I have come to realize that I am too hard on myself. When I am overly critical of myself, I never really enjoy the fruits of my labor, and that’s not the kind of life I want. I have to stop accepting limiting beliefs that tell me I am not good enough, or that I am undeserving. In order to address the limiting beliefs, I pray and write out all the lies I tell myself; I also write out all the truths that reflect who I really am. I have to give up limiting, untrue beliefs so that I can have the full, balanced life that I hope for.

My Reaction

I was not surprised by my responses because I have been thinking about the topics that I shared. I have been thinking about the way I diminish my accomplishments, the lies I tell myself, and the kind of person I want to be. When I am experiencing in-the-moment emotions, I try to address them right away. In quickly addressing anger, sadness, joy, pain, etc., I am able to quickly work through them. Due to practices I started a long time ago, mindfulness is an intentional part of my life. Though I am not mindful every minute of the day, I do practice daily mindfulness.

McKee, A., Boyatzis, R., & Johnston, F. (2008). Becoming a Resonant Leader. Boston, Massachusetts: Harvard Business Review Press.