A641.4.3.RB - Tipping Points of Emotional Intelligence_SharpMelissa

When I moved back to the Savannah area (I was living in Atlanta), I needed to get a job right away. After talking with my dad, he let me know that our medical doctor friend had an open administrative assistant position at his practice. Although I did not have a medical background, I a) needed income b) had an administrative background.

The newness of living in a different city and working at a doctor’s office, was quite an adjustment; I had to adjust to my new location and work environment. In the beginning, my relationships with co-workers was not great, but it wasn’t too bad. I was able to complete my assignments without disruption and interact with our patients; my relationships with our patients was the best part of the job.  Although I was employed by the doctor and he was my main supervisor, one of the nurse assistants was the office manager; this meant that she was also my manager. Unfortunately, our relationship soured soon after I started.

In one of the meetings I had with her, she let me know that she (and the other staff members) were “throwing me to the wolves” and that I should be able to handle the rigorousness of the work. Several uncomfortable things kept occurring at the office, for example: I could hear this nurse assistant and other staff members talking about me; I was yelled at when given instruction, and I was accused of neglect which could have caused harm to a patient. I was able to let the other behaviors slide, but when I was accused of potentially harming someone, that was my tipping point. That moment changed everything. I knew that I needed a meeting with her, with the doctor present. I no longer trusted or respected her; I was angry and anxious, and I knew the workplace would never be the same.

The meeting with the doctor seemed ineffective because the nurse assistant and I were at such odds. Though the doctor tried serving as a mediator, I was unwilling to hear the nurse assistant’s explanation and she was unwilling to hear mine.  Though I experienced positive emotions for taking a stand, I didn’t like that I had to take a stand at all. Days after the meeting, the new tone of the office was established; I hardly spoke with the nurse assistant and she didn’t speak with me. I was no longer being talked about so that I could hear, it was now behind closed doors. In finally telling the doctor what was going on, interpersonal changes did not occur, but my heart changed. I felt a coldness and disconnect that scared me. I decided that I should quit, but I wanted to write a letter to the doctor, first; I wanted to express all of my negative thoughts and emotions. Before printing the letter, I sent it to a trustworthy friend so that she could read it. After she read it, she let me know that it exposed a lot of bitterness; though I was hurt, my friend cautioned that putting my hurt in a resignation letter could further damage an already broken situation. I took my friend’s advice. I wrote a short letter thanking the doctor for the opportunity to work at his office and I respectfully gave him two weeks’ notice.

If I had to do it again, I think I wouldn’t have let the negative incidences, push me over the edge.  I also think that I would have spoken with the doctor when the first incidence occurred; I might have been less angry when I met with him. Finally, if I had to do it again, I would have taken a look at my part in the ordeal. I was so focused on the way I was being treated, that I did not think about enriching the environment. Instead of coming home after work venting about the situation (I talked about it so much that my family members felt like they knew the staff), I could have come up with ways to better do my job, and ways to show kindness to the staff. Instead of kindness, I treated them the way they treated me. I didn’t like the way I was treated, so it was unfortunate that I treated the staff the same way.