A641.2.3.RB - Am I a Resonant Leader?_SharpMelissa

Given my background, I am going to approach this exercise a little differently. I have an undergraduate degree in counseling and since learning more about people, interpersonal interactions, emotional intelligence, etc., I have been a fan of the “soft stuff”. In other words, inspiring others, being in touch with my emotions and others, and leading with compassion, are skills that I’ve been sharpening for years. To be clear, I am not where I want to be and I still have so much more to learn; however, I can see a lot of my personality in resonant leader traits. Still, I feel more detached from the term leadership than I do resonance. I feel that I am a resonant person, but I am not quite confident leading others.

I believe I inspire others based on feedback I have received; however, I am not sure how I would inspire those I am leading. When I think of leader-inspiration, I think of one of my supervisor friends. My friend teaches his employees new ways to think and problem-solve; with their permission, he signs employees’ up for leader conferences and personal development workshops; he consistently encourages them, and he shows them that he believes in them. In turn, his employees believe in themselves. Because I’ve not been in a supervisory position (supervising people), I wonder if I’d inspire others, as a leader. Inspiration goes beyond encouraging words; as a leader, action follows inspiration, like the actions of my friend.

I am an empathetic person; I think it is the counselor in me. I care about others’ feelings and I try to clearly communicate mine. If someone looks like they are having a bad day, I like to address their disposition before diving into work or training. I usually don’t have issues with empathy and compassion; however, in some instances, I have been too empathetic. The empathy I exuded was rooted in codependent behavior. In hearing others’ problems, I wanted to fix their problems for them; this was not good. As a leader, I need to support others, not fix them. I believe that a resonant leader balances empathy and support. While I have come a long way, I still must monitor my behavior so that I am supportive without trying to fix others.

Resonant leaders get sustainable results through managing their emotions, energy, and relationships; resonant leaders do not get results just because they are nice (McKee, et al., 2008, p. 35). Though resonant leaders are not always nice, they always create an atmosphere in which people are hopeful about the future and will work to get results (McKee, et al., 2008, p. 35). Resonant leaders have a low tolerance for passive resistance, cynical attitudes, or prideful behavior; a resonant leader is not afraid to speak out against negative employee behavior, offering clear feedback, while maintaining resonance (McKee, et al., 2008., p. 35). I value these resonant qualities because they speak to the depth of resonance. I also value these qualities because I feel that I lack them…or lack the balance. I understand that I will not be nice all of the time, but I don’t want to be the boss that employees avoid because they are afraid. I want to create a hopeful environment where honest feedback is given. Even when I have to address bad employee behavior, I want to maintain resonance like a resonant leader would.

McKee, A., Boyatzis, R., & Johnston, F. (2008). Becoming a Resonant Leader . Boston: Harvard Business Press .