A641.1.3.RB_What is Great Leadership?_SharpMelissa

When completing the "What is Great Leadership?" exercise, I found it easy to write my positive and negative experiences because I've been greatly impacted by both. For example, when I listed the way I felt in the presence of my effective leader, I noted the following:

• I felt taken care of
• I felt wise
• confident
• safe
• trusted
• protected
• I felt like an experienced person was leading me

When I listed the way I felt in the presence of my ineffective leader, I listed the following:

• I felt unsafe
• I  felt paranoid
• I felt like I was always wrong
• I felt frustrated
• afraid
• negative atmosphere

As I listened to Dr. Boyatzis' presentation and considered the results of my exercise, I am further convinced of what I want (and do not want) from a leader. When I say that my effective leader made me feel taken care of, I am not speaking in a child-like way; I felt as though my best interest was considered. Also, I was treated as though I mattered. I felt wise around my effective leader because when I provided sound feedback or ideas, my feedback and ideas were positively acknowledged. I felt confident around my effective leader because I was encouraged to do my best, even when I still had so much to learn. I trusted my effective leader because I saw wisdom and experience in their leadership.

When I listed the way I felt around my ineffective leader, I almost got anxious writing out those words...that's not good. Truly, I felt unsafe and uncovered. I felt like the one person who should have supported me, was actually against me. Even when the ineffective leader made positive statements, I did not trust those words because actions were contradictory. I could not communicate with my leader because I was paranoid and felt like my words would be used against me, no matter my intentions. I felt wrong about things, even when I knew I was right. For example, even when wrong, my ineffective leader would argue the point; I once graciously ended a conversation that got out of hand, because of my leader's combative nature. I felt afraid because the leader would use scare-tactics to get everyone worked up about implausible scenarios. Overall, there was a sense of negativity when this person was around, even when positive things were happening within the organization.

Though a short exercise, it did conjure up an array of emotions. First, gratitude. I am grateful that I no longer seek validate from my leaders. Don't get me wrong, encouragement is awesome and such a great motivator; however, if I am not getting it from the person I expect, I can encourage myself and accept encouragement that comes from others. Next, frustration. I am frustrated that ineffective leaders are leading organizations and it seems that their bosses don't care. How does that happen? How is it that a supervisor's supervisor, misses the red flags? Are those supervisors turning a blind eye? Maybe. Finally, appreciation. I appreciate the effective leaders in my life; those leaders have given me a strong leader-foundation. My effective leaders have inspired me to lead in a way that will motivate, inspire, support, push, and encourage people.